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Monday, April 10, 2006

I'm Back!

As Zoomstick enters year two, I am back, and to kick off my return, I'll share with you some of my thoughts of my first day when I become dictator.

Mariners:
* Willie Bloomquist - he is only allowed to pinch run, and is banned from the outfield. Seriously, this guy can't hit and he got a 2 year deal?
* Carl Everett - given until May 15th to prove he is productive, if not, he's released
* Mike Hargrove - fired, between his lineups, mismanagement of the bullpen, and lack of creativity, he brings no value, plus I don't care for men wearing bracelets

Sonics:
* Bob Hill - bring him back for 2006-07
* Rashard Lewis - challenge him to be a #2 scorer, and leader, because this guy disappears big time
* Dance team - gone, put the focus back on the players
* 4th Quarter - Pearl Jam's Alive must be played prior to the start of the 4th quarter, some things don't age

NBA:
* Rookies must either be 21 years old or have played 4 years professionally in Europe. The game is enjoying a slow death by all the kids with 'talent' but no ability to play the game at this level.
* Referees - enforcing all the rules, including palming, traveling, etc

NFL:
* Replay - calls are reviewed by an official not on the field. Too many calls are not being reversed even though video proves otherwise. This is a process that should take less than 1 minute given all of the camera angles used today.

Other Sports:
* WNBA - banned from TV
* Women Dunking - no one cares
* US Olympic Coverage - NBC, ABC and CBS banned from covering, only option is they are allowed to rebroadcast live CBC feed. What a novel concept, showing the games live, I'm not sure what is dumber, the TV exec's at the networks, or the viewers that tolerate this nonsense.

Real World:
* Constitution - Right to Arm Bears, putting an end to the NRA
* Hair - 30+ single men no longer can advertise their desperation in life by bleaching their hair. Yes we know you are single and have no plan, please don't make it more difficult.
* Mexico - We're building a fence, figure out why folks want to leave

5 Comments:

Blogger Small Fish said...

Welcome back.

Your post reminds me of an oversized pimple that's really white and nasty and then explodes the second something touches it. White puss and gack all over my screen. You've really been holding a lot in Nathan.

10:46 PM  
Blogger nhw said...

And I held back too, don't you think the US should revoke Oregon's statehood?

3:56 PM  
Blogger Small Fish said...

On what basis?

You don't like granola? Trees? State income tax? Do you feel threatened by somebody else pumping your own gas? Have bad nightmares about Bill Walton in a Blazers uni? Share your feelings Nathan. This is a safe place.

9:47 PM  
Blogger nhw said...

I'm a fan of state income tax provided there is no sales tax - folks up here do realize it would shift the tax basis from the poor to the wealthy.

I think Bill Walton is a clown and the Blazers are an after thought. Max contract to Zach Randolph?

I just don't see the value Oregon adds to the Union. I'd like to see the Pac-10 drop OSU and WSU and add two decent programs.

Then again, I have always thought Washington should leave the Union, then we could become Washingtonians, instead of Americans, which applies to anyone living in North, Central or South America.

But alas, now I have to battle Ron Sims and his desire to put a bus on every city block, he even dares to use the word rapid, when busing is anything but

8:28 AM  
Blogger Small Fish said...

State income tax doesn't work. There's a direct relationship between high unemployment and insufficient tax revenue. No jobs, no tax revenue. Oregon is running on fumes financially, in large part because our tax system is a disaster. Having lived in both Oregon and Washington, I favor a sales tax.

I disagree with you about kicking OSU and WSU out of the Pac 10. The league needs a couple whippin' boys.

Seattle's geography is too weird for rapid anything. There are lakes, bays, rivers, canals, and hills everywhere. Portland has public transportation pretty well dialed in, although the bus drivers here are complete road hogs. I think I saw Bill Walton driving one the other day...

2:51 PM  

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